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雅思作文写作指导,文章详分析

很多同学在写作文的之后,总觉得自己写的很好,但是分又不高。这是怎么回事呢?牛学教育小编为您介绍:雅思作文写作指导的知识。

雅思大作文题目:

Many parents today do not spend enough time with their children.What are the causes of this phenomenon?What can be done to change the situation?

正文指导:

It is common nowadays to find the parents missing in the life of their children, leaving their responsibilities to the grandparents. Parents’absence in their children’s lives is a commonplace nowadays. There are a couple of reasons behind this phenomenon, but and the situation canstill be improved.

  Parents may work too hard to be companions of their children. [总述一句:“忙工作”是原因] It has become is a frequently heard complaint that parents cannot afford to raising the kids children. As the awareness of the importance of proper education raised among the public, increasing sums of money are given out by parents in order to make sure that their offspring can have an advantage in the competition with their peers. [这个部分在讲为什么“工作忙”,而不是在讲为什么“不陪伴”,会被判定为“irrelevant information”,所以会丢TR分。] Those busy parents areeither under the financial pressure or workaholics. [busy parents对应上文的work too hard,内容上的呼应是一种好的CC。] [至于“为什么工作忙”不需要说明。] Most of their time spent on earning better salaries or achieving professional goals, [状语部分的内容对应了上一句的either under the financial pressure or workaholics,于是搭建了好的CC。] parents hardly have time to provide company for their children. Another reason may be that some parents need to take a break and thus deliberately spend no time on taking care of their children. [然后顺延解释一些细节,说说具体怎么会需要take a breath,从“是什么”到“为什么”,也是CC的搭建过程。] Since children can be annoying and consume much of their parents’ energy, parents findlegitimate excuses to avoid their children in order for themselves tohave a life. Such pressure forces the parents to work overtime or even leave their hometown and family for a higher salary, not giving them even the chances to sit down and chat with their children. With more and more mothers no longer playing the role of housewife and instead joining the workforce, [原因在状语部分说明了。] children are losing the only parent who may be their company. [这句话就把下面一整个段落的内容浓缩在一句话里说明白了。这样的行文不拖沓。]

以上就是牛学教育介绍的雅思作文写作题目指导的知识, 更多雅思学习资料和最新雅思资讯,请继续关注牛学教育。

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